What To Do If My Child Tells Me They Want To Commit Suicide

If your child has told you they want to commit suicide, the next step is to discuss what they meant. This is an important step because it can help you understand their intentions and feelings. Remember that open-ended questions may be helpful, such as:

• Tell me more about what you meant when you said “I wish I were dead.”
• Tell me how you feel right now. It might be helpful for them to write down some words for this part of the conversation. It can help them access their emotions and put things into perspective.

Take the threat seriously.

If your child has said they want to commit suicide, take the threat seriously.

Do not dismiss it.

Do not minimize it.

Don’t blame the child for their feelings or actions by saying things like “You have no reason to be sad”.

Don’t judge the child for having these feelings and thoughts. Instead, listen carefully and try to understand what led up to this moment of extreme sadness, hopelessness, despair—whatever emotion is driving them toward suicide attempts or ideation about death and dying in general.

Talk to your child about why they are feeling like committing suicide and what kind of thoughts they have had.

A common myth about suicidality is that talking about it will increase the likelihood it will occur. In fact, research shows the opposite. Many people who commit suicide do so because they did not have an emotional outlet and so suffered in silence. If your child tells you they want to commit suicide, it is important to discuss their feelings and emotions and find out how you can help. 

Ask questions like: 

• What are the hardest things for you right now that make you feel like taking your own life? 
• Do you talk about killing yourself with others?
• When it’s really bad, what kind of suicidal thoughts and urges do you have? 
• Have you thought about ways of killing yourself or do you have a plan in mind?
• Have you made any past attempt?
• Have you thought about what might happen after your death? 
• What has kept you alive until now?

Use any information you acquire to help you take steps towards suicide prevention. For example, remove any daily frustrations and sources of overwhelm that are contributing to suicidal thoughts and urges because they are too much for your child to handle. Take note of the positive resources that are keeping your child alive and double down on the presence of these in daily life to the extent that you can. 

If your child says that there isn’t anything more you can do, explore some additional options:

• Ask if they have tried talking with someone else. This could be a friend, another family member or an adult who has been a role model for them in the past (like a teacher).
• Ask if they have reached out to someone else when things have been tough in the past. Who did they talk to? How did it go? Can this person be trustworthy enough for your kid’s needs right now?
• If nothing else has worked yet and the situation seems desperate, seek out professional help.

What to do if your child has already taken steps towards suicide

If your child has already taken steps towards making suicide happen, you need to take this seriously and get help immediately. Tell them that you understand how they feel and that you are concerned about their safety. Then, contact a mental health professional for advice on how best to proceed with your child’s situation. If there is someone else who could be involved in the discussion (for example, a friend or family member), encourage him or her to call the professional as well.

Talk to your child about getting help to figure out why they are so upset and are thinking of suicide as an option for them. It is possible that your child is dealing with a number of different issues, such as school, relationships and family. Talking about these issues may help your child feel better and get past their depression or sadness. If you think that talking to a professional will be helpful for your child, ask them how they feel about seeing someone who can provide support and guidance through this difficult time.

Do not leave your child alone until you can talk to someone who can get them help.

Remove all methods of suicide and never leave your child alone. If you don’t know what to do, stay with them and keep them safe until you can reach out for help. Also, if your child has a history of suicidal ideation or attempts, ensure that they have an emergency plan ready and available at all times.

If you think your child is in immediate danger, call 911, If not, contact a crisis line. The new suicide hotline phone number 988 is free and confidential, staffed by trained professionals who can talk to your child and help you figure out what to do next. They’re open 24/7, so don’t hesitate to reach out if you need them.

It is important to remember that your child’s suicidal thoughts are not about you or the way you have raised them. They are about their feelings, which need to be understood and validated before they can move on from this painful time in their life. It will take time and understanding from both sides, but if you can get through this together as parent and child, then there is hope for a brighter future.

Counseling options for your teenager

If you are worried that your teenager is suicidal, visit our webpage on teenage counseling. Counseling is a proven way in helping teenagers overcome depression and other mental health disorders that can lead to suicidal thoughts. We provide regular counseling sessions for teenagers in Florida who are struggling and would like somebody to discuss it with. A great way to help your teenager overcome suicidal thoughts  is to guide them to a therapist, who is trained to help pull them out of that dark space.