Self-confidence is something that we often take for granted. It can be profoundly impacted by many factors in our lives. As children grow up, their self-confidence can be impacted by how they’re treated at home or school to the way their parents treat others around them. However, there are plenty of ways you can help your child become more confident and build their self-esteem.
At its root, self-confidence is highly impacted by the parent-child relationship. When a child feels unconditionally loved, important in the eyes of their parents for who they are, self-confidence is most likely to occur. The opinions of others and the difficulties of daily life do not have the same impact on the child. Parents want to consider if their child feels this way in their relationship and if they don’t, focus on that.
Methods to help your child become more self-confident
Avoid harsh criticism, punishment and parenting practices that withhold love. These include timeouts, silent treatment and taking away what the child cares about. These will affect the depth of the relationship between parent and child and affect the self-esteem of the child. This is because the child becomes more self conscious and anxious about how their behavior can influence the approval of others. Parents should demonstrate that even if they do not always approve of their child’s behavior, they always approve of their child. They want to focus on steering their child’s behavior in an appropriate direction and get their child’s buy in for that direction, so they can position themselves as a coach, helping their child course correct when they inevitably make mistakes.
Parents should prioritize fostering relationships between their children and more mature peers or caring adults. These relationships should help the child develop more self-confidence. To do this, parents should find opportunities to tell the child’s teacher positive things that their child has said and visa-versa so as to set up the interactions to be more positive and encouraging. Parents should find places like youth groups, clubs, sports teams etc to involve their child in and do the same with those coaches and group leaders so that the likelihood of a good experience is higher.
Parents should become good listeners to their kids so that their child feels comfortable talking to them about problems and the parent is in a stronger position to help them solve it. This will help the child more confidently approach the situation and increase the likelihood of a more positive outcome that boosts their confidence.
How role playing can help your child become more self-confident
Role-playing can be a fun way to help your child practice social skills, learn how to deal with difficult situations, and even learn how to deal with their own emotions. It can also help your child learn how to deal with conflict.
Role-playing is when you pretend that you are someone else and act out what they would say or do in real life situations. For example, if your child has trouble saying no when asked for something they don’t want, then you could act as the asker (or yourself) while they practice saying no and explain why they don’t want it/can’t do whatever it is being asked of them.
Recognize the signs of low self-esteem and depression.
Signs of low self-esteem and depression are not always obvious, but they can be easy to spot. Look out for signs of low self-esteem and depression in your child, such as:
- Depression – Changes in personality, sleep patterns or behavior may indicate depression.
- Low self-esteem – Ask yourself if your child is feeling down about himself or herself on a regular basis.
- Anxiety – Watch out for signs of excessive worrying. Does your child appear nervous around others? Does he or she avoid certain activities because he or she feels fear?
- Lack of motivation – A lack of motivation can lead to poor grades at school and other life problems that can have long-lasting effects on self-confidence. Your child losing interest in activities they previously enjoyed could be another sign that something is wrong with their attitude towards life currently.
Get to know others in your child’s life.
It’s important to get to know others in your child’s life. When you meet these people, ask them questions about your child:
- What are they good at?
- What do they like doing?
- Where have they been and what have they done?
Reward progress, not perfection.
The key to building self-confidence is to reward progress, not perfection. This simple principle can be applied to many aspects of your child’s life, including grades, behavior and sports. Don’t focus on whether or not your child got a perfect score on an exam or game. Instead, try rewarding them for doing their best and trying their hardest.
Help your child set goals.
Setting goals is important for developing self-confidence. This is because it gives your child a clear idea of what he or she wants to achieve in the future. Also, it gives them a way to measure progress toward those goals.
- Encourage flexibility when setting goals. This is so children don’t get discouraged if their original plan doesn’t work out as expected. If something unexpected comes up that affects one of the plans, they won’t feel like giving up just because everything didn’t go exactly as planned; instead they’ll know how important flexibility is when trying new things!
Talk about emotions.
When we talk about emotions, it’s important to acknowledge that everyone has them. We need to teach kids that they can express their feelings without being judged by others. It’s not helpful for a child to feel like their emotions are wrong or bad because they don’t fit in with your idea of the way people should act in certain situations.
It’s also important not to ignore your child’s feelings just because you’re uncomfortable talking about them (or because you disagree/don’t know what to say). Your child needs someone who will listen even when it feels hard for you!
Watch for perfectionism in yourself and your child.
It’s important to be aware of your child’s perfectionism, and make sure you aren’t contributing to it yourself. Parents can easily fall into the trap of wanting their kids to be perfect. This is especially true when they are younger, but it can still happen later on as well. Expecting your child to be perfect does not help them to become more self-confident. Sometimes parents feel like they need to be perfect too, so their children can succeed. If you find yourself doing this and allowing perfectionism into your home, it will only end up hurting everyone involved.
Self-confidence is built through many sources, both internal and external
Confidence is built through many sources and experiences both internal and external. These can include successes at school and extracurricular activities. However, they could also be related to something as simple as a person complimenting them or hearing praise from others. While some of these things happen naturally over time, others require active effort on the part of parents. Or other adults like teachers and coaches who are invested in helping kids grow into confident individuals.
Building self-confidence is the most important thing you can do for your child. It’s not something that happens overnight, so be patient and understanding as they work through this process. Remember that all kids go through periods of feeling self-conscious. Despite facing challenges, they’ll learn valuable life lessons and grow stronger if they know you believe in them.
Therapists are also there to give a helping hand in building self-confidence in your child. This can be through therapy or coaching, or parent consultations. Visit our webpage on child therapy, teen counseling, teen life coaching or our course for parents – Raising Kids To Their Full Potential to learn more about our services.
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