Causes of Suicidal Thoughts

Adolescent suicide is now the third leading cause of death for 15-24 year old’s. This is a really serious issue that is unfortunately happening all around the country and it is often caused by teenage depression. As we know, there is no one cause of suicidal thoughts, so we must dig deeper and look at what is the root of suicidality. Also, we need to understand what the root of suffering is in general. 

As a parent, it can be very difficult trying to get your teenager to discuss why they feel like they are suffering, hence the need to understand what the root of suffering is in general. Suffering happens when our inner life feels very chaotic and distressing thoughts, emotions, memories, or urges are showing up and we are fused by this experience we are having. We’ve all had moments of extreme anxiety, anger, or sadness in which we feel completely consumed by what’s happening inside of us. Additionally, we often become very impulsive in those situations because we trigger our fight or flight response in that moment. 

When our fight or flight response gets triggered, our brain and body shift into this mode of trying to escape the situation as fast as possible. When we start doing things to escape psychological or emotional pain, by doing things that make us feel better in the short term but make life worse in the long term, it is called experiential avoidance.

Causes of Suicidal Thoughts – Experiential Avoidance

Experiential avoidance can be defined as attempts to avoid thoughts, feelings, memories, physical sensations, and other internal experiences even when doing so creates harm in the long run. Psychologists will say that experiential avoidance is part of the human condition, therefore we all do this in some way. However, if you look at the mental health conditions listed in the DSM-V, you will find high amounts of experiential avoidance tactics at the root of them. When you look at the common warning signs of suicide, you see experiential avoidance in action.

Warning signs of Suicide

• Withdrawal from activities
• Isolation from friends and family
• Engaging in reckless behavior 
• Alcohol & drugs
• Changes in sleep or eating patterns
• Dangerous or self-harming behavior
• Changes in appearance or behavior
• Talk or threat of suicide 

All these things can numb out pain in the short term but consequently lead to more pain in the long term. This can jeopardize relationships in many areas of life and can make your teen feel more isolated, hopeless, trapped, anxious, angry, and overwhelmed.  They often stop sleeping well and life feels duller, and they can feel like they’ve lost a sense of meaning and purpose.

It’s very paradoxical because the more they try to escape the psychological and emotional pain they’re experiencing through the experiential avoidance tactics, the more trapped they start to feel and the less room they have to breathe. Thus, when everything else has been tried to escape and nothing has worked, their minds next experiential avoidance tactic is naturally suicidal thoughts. 

The good news is that 70-90% of people have significant reduction of symptoms and improved quality of life with a combination of pharmacological and psychosocial treatments and support. Those people who reach out for help recover, have a better quality of life, and learn how to turn this equation from a death sentence into one of resilience. 

Guidance For Parents

• Give your teen a safe, nonjudgmental space to talk with you about what they are thinking and feeling. Focus on listening, not advice-giving or lectures. People who feel they can talk openly and honestly with a caring person are far less likely to act on thoughts of suicide. It is one of the most important preventative measures.
• The Adaptive process is an aspect of growth and development that parents want to nurture. The adaptive process encourages teens to learn from their mistakes and understand that some things are not in our control. Parents need to gently guide their teen in coming to terms with the aspects of the situation that are not in their control or are not working to improve the situation. Once the parent feels that the teen has been able to release the emotion of how they are feeling, parents should gently shift the conversation to encouraging the teen to think about what they CAN do. It is best if the solutions come from the teen or in partnership with the parent through brainstorming.
• Make sure there is enough structure in the teen’s life. Structure is very important when a teen is struggling with mental health. 
• Consider the environment surrounding the teen. It’s important to understand the causes of suicidal thoughts so you can find creative ways to change the environment so it is more conducive to recovery. This needs to be done non-directly.